Sarcastic Secret: This is a Toilet Seat
By Chad Upton | Editor
Sure, you can hold it, we all can. But one day, your knees will buckle and you’ll actually want to use a public toilet.
When you need a public toilet, there’s nothing more demoralizing than discovering the last patron was a Neanderthal. Of course, you have to forgive them — cavemen don’t know that attachment is actually a seat. The archaeologist in me suspects that cavemen believe it is a funnel, you know, to help them get everything in the bowl. If that’s true, they may be more advanced than previously understood.
If you ever catch one of these beings, enlighten them. Tell them that other people reluctantly want to sit on that seat.
An abstract and slightly less plausable hypothesis is that some of them are aware that it is a seat, but are worried about catching some disease when they lift it. You can let them in on the toilet-paper-secret: use a tiny wad of paper to lift the seat. Then leave that toilet paper on the floor as a potentially embarrassing trap for someone else to catch on their shoe. Just kidding of course, you can let them in on this other little secret: toilet paper can actually be placed right in the toilet.
Also, direct them to the flush lever. It’s incredibly effective when used.